LOVE ME
by 68luvcarter
Summary: Written for Valentine's Day prompt. As Spencer and JJ mend their broken friendship they are given a chance at something more.


WRITTEN FOR VALENTINES DAY CHALLENGE

I DO NOT OWN CRIMINAL MINDS OR CM CHARACTERS

Pairing: Spencer Reid and Jennifer Jareau

Prompts: a dozen red, roses, candy hearts and 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight' by Elton John

Spencer was sitting alone on the park bench reading when he was startled by the sudden launch Henry had made to reach his lap. Dropping his book in surprise his expression of shock quickly turned happy as he glanced at the beaming young boy clamoring onto the bench, eyes alight trying to reach his Uncle Spencer.

Spencer helped the child onto the seat only to have him crawl on his lap and throw his arms around Spencer's neck in joy. Spencer closed his eyes as he returned the hug, amazed as always at the love that filled his heart for Henry.

Glancing up he saw JJ watching him from a few feet away, a smile on her face and a look of regret in her eyes. Things were getting better between JJ and Spencer but he couldn't keep from holding a piece of himself back. His head understood the way things had to happen with Emily but the feeling of betrayal was still lingering in his heart. At least he could talk to her now without anger coloring his words; he just couldn't open up to her the way he did before. He didn't trust her and the distance between them while not as far as it was, was still there.

JJ felt the tears sting her eyes as she walked over to Spencer, her heart filling with sorrow as she thought of the closeness that was once between them and fear that she would never get that closeness back again. She didn't regret what she did to save Emily but sometimes she felt like she had lost so much because of her decision. Emily was alive so it was worth it; it still hurt.

She smiled softly as she watched Henry crawl into Spencer's lap and throw his tiny arms around his neck. Her heart always swelled with love when she watched her son and Spencer together. It was so rare to see Spencer initiate touch but he did with Henry and at times she thought Henry loved Spencer more than he did her or Will.

After Emily was gone Spencer had made it routine to show up at JJ's house at least once a week, hurting, crying, heartbroken and it had taken every bit of JJ's control not to give in and tell him the truth. Sometimes she thought he came more to see Henry than he did her. Henry had been his comfort; he had been the one he could hold, the one that made things better.

She never told Spencer of the fights she and Will had because of his visits.

She never would.

The problems she and Will had been having had started long before Spencer ever began coming to see her and she wouldn't put that guilt on him. She knew Spencer would feel that guilt and wear it like armor, another layer between them. She and Will had realized how little they had in common when JJ left the BAU. The job let her be home more and while it was wonderful time spent with Henry, the extra time with Will had only brought their differences to light in greater detail.

Will understood the first few visits Spencer had made during the time Emily was gone but quickly grew tired of the bond that she and Spencer had. JJ knew a part of Will was jealous of how close she and Spencer were or at least they used to be.

JJ couldn't tell Spencer not to come. As much as those visits hurt watching him in pain, she needed to see him, to hold him. She needed him. She always had.

The final straw had been when she told Will of the offer to come back to the BAU. Will had not seen it as an option but JJ had seen it as a chance to have her family back again. She had loved Will but in the end she had loved her team and her sanity even more. She needed to go back and now Will was gone, he had left her six months ago.

He was a wonderful dad so she still saw him when he picked up Henry but both she and Will were happier now. He had even started dating again. When Henry had come home talking about daddy's friend it had hurt at first but then she realized that the pain wasn't from Will moving on but because she hadn't. She couldn't.

She couldn't move forward because the man she loved and wanted to be with didn't trust her anymore. How could she tell Spencer that the weeks she had spent with him had made her realize how much she loved him? How could she tell him that she had looked forward to having him come to her to cry and be held because it gave her a reason to hold him? She felt like a horrible person for wanting that time with him even though he had been in pain.

JJ shook her head to bring her attention back to her two favorite people just in time to hear Henry tell Spencer that daddy didn't live with them anymore.

Spencer felt his breath catch in his throat at Henry's words. He quickly looked to JJ for a denial but she stayed quiet, a sad smile on her face. Looking back to Henry, Spencer continued as if the child hadn't just blown his world apart with his innocent words. Spencer could feel his heart pounding so hard against his chest he was surprised the little boy didn't feel it too.

Spencer felt a pang of guilt hit his heart that JJ hadn't been able to turn to him when she needed him. He had held himself so apart from her for the last few months that he had never noticed such a big change in her life. He felt even worse for the brief feeling of happiness that had surged through him with Henry's admission. Spencer loved JJ. He had loved her for a very long time but he had learned to live with the knowledge that she would never love him back. He felt bad for the hope that filled in his heart even for just a moment. He wanted JJ to be happy even if he couldn't give her that happiness.

Spencer pushed his thoughts back, talking and playing with Henry until JJ told them it was time to go home. Henry once again threw his arms around Spencer's neck before telling him he loved him and crawling off the bench.

Spencer watched the conflicting emotions cross JJ's face as she walked toward him. He held his breath as she leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his cheek and whispered "Bye Spence."

Spencer watched as JJ and Henry walked away taking his heart with them.

Weeks passed quickly with work hectic as always. Spencer couldn't bring himself to ask JJ about her and Will but he had gotten details from Garcia. The trust that he had lost had slowly been re-built and forgiveness had finally been given. The relationship between JJ and himself was not the same as before but had instead matured into a more equal partnership. Spencer no longer felt like the nervous, shy kid around JJ but more like a confident man. It was that confidence that he hoped would change their relationship once more.

The team had just returned from a difficult case in Houston and Spencer was looking forward to the next few days from work to put his plan in motion. On the plane coming home he had waited until the team was sleeping or otherwise occupied and moved to the seat next to JJ, smiling as she glanced up at him. Clearing his throat he asked her if she would mind if he came by her house sometime during their time off to visit with Henry. He saw the brief surprise in her eyes before she returned his smile and said yes. It would be Spencer's first time back at her home since Emily had returned.

Deciding Monday would give them time to fall back into their routines, plans were made for Tuesday. He felt it was appropriate that the day would be Valentine's Day. Spencer smiled once more before returning to his seat hoping the day might be the start of something he had come to realize he really wanted; a family.

JJ was nervous. Spencer had been to her home a hundred times but this time felt different. Spencer was different. He was still sweet but no longer shy and while he still seemed innocent at times he had also turned into a sexy, confident man; a man that made JJ nervous and excited. When she had planned the day with Spencer the fact that their day together landed on Valentine's Day never crossed her mind. The fact that his first time back to her home landed on a holiday known for lovers only increased her anticipation.

After her third time re-arranging the cushions on the couch she finally made herself stop and sit down. Henry left his toys and walked over to her snuggling close beside her almost as if he felt her need for comfort. Holding him close she asked him if he was ready to play with Uncle Spencer receiving an excited 'Yes' in return. Hearing the doorbell, JJ quickly kissed Henry's head before picking him up and heading to the door.

JJ was surprised to see a dozen red roses in Spencer's hand when she answered the door. With a soft, 'Wow' she took the flowers from his hand and stepped aside for him to enter.

"'Happy Valentine's Day JJ," Spencer smiled before handing a stuffed red bear to Henry.

Henry was thrilled and quickly made to grab not only the new toy but his beloved uncle as well. Taking the child from his mother's arms Spencer wrapped him in a hug and read the message on the front of the bear 'Be Mine' to the little boy, showing him the package of candy hearts tied to the front. JJ felt a twinge in her heart as she wished Henry really could belong to Spencer.

JJ went to put the roses in a vase while Spencer and Henry went back to the couch talking and playing. Henry was excitedly telling Spencer all the things they were going to do today while Spencer listened in rapt attention. JJ stood in the doorway watching them with their heads bent together, breathing a sigh of relief for the second chance Spencer had given her, for the chance to still be a part of his life. Will leaving had been hard but losing Spencer would have devastated her.

Spencer was having the time of his life. He had spent the whole day with JJ and Henry, playing games, working puzzles, teaching Henry magic tricks that he then happily showed his mom, listening to her 'ooh' and 'aah' in amazement. The little boy was winding down but was fighting his nap afraid to miss a moment. JJ offered a movie hoping to still the bouncing child so that sleep would come. Henry picked out a favorite, The Lion King and after JJ had put it in the DVD player they all sat on the couch to watch. Henry curled up next to Spencer but asked JJ to come sit by him too letting the child cuddle with both of them on the same end of the couch.

Spencer glanced over Henry's head at JJ to find her watching him in return. Smiling he put his arm around Henry and reached for her hand before turning back to the movie. About halfway through they looked down to find Henry had fallen asleep. JJ eased up off the couch to carry him to his room but Spencer stopped her asking if he could put him down.

Spencer picked up Henry walking to his room with JJ following behind. He could feel her watching as he laid the little boy on his dinosaur comforter and pulled a blanket over his little shoulders. Spencer ran his hand across hair before leaning over and kissing his forehead. JJ felt tears spring to her eyes at the loving gesture before walking over and doing the same.

JJ pulled the door halfway closed before they both walked back into the living room. Spencer could hear the DVD playing Elton John's 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight' as he turned to face JJ. She watched as he pulled another box of candy hearts from his pocket.

"This is a special box," he said before pulling the first heart and handing it to her. Looking down JJ read 'I'm Sorry' but before she could speak he was already handing her the next piece of candy. JJ looked at the small, purple heart 'Hug Me' written across the front. Glancing back up at Spencer to find him waiting, JJ leaned forward sliding her arms around his waist. Spencer never paused as he slipped his own arms around JJ's shoulders. JJ sighed as she rested her cheek against his chest listening to his strong, steady heartbeat, basking in his warmth, his strength. After a few moments just holding each other Spencer pulled away, handing JJ another candy heart, this one pink, 'Kiss Me' it said. JJ quickly glanced up seeing a quick flash of uncertainty cross his face. Maybe there was still a part of the shy genius underneath this new, confident man. Smiling softly JJ tilted her head up meeting Spencer in the middle as they kissed sweetly. JJ closed her eyes savoring the moment, slowly raising her hand to touch Spencer's face. She had wanted this so much and needed the touch to know it was real.

Spencer tightened his hold around JJ reluctant to let her go after waiting so long for this chance. The need to breathe pulling him back, he opened his eyes, breath hitching as he watched her face. JJ looked thoroughly kissed, her eyes still closed. He watched as she opened her lovely, blue eyes and looked at him. He handed her the last candy heart, 'Love Me', it said.

JJ read the blue heart before raising her eyes back to Spencer, "I already do," she whispered. Once more pulling her close, Spencer laid his face against her neck, breathing her in, lips moving against her neck, he answered, "I love you JJ."

"I love you Spence," she said.

Behind them both a little voice spoke up, "I love you too Uncle Spencer." Laughing as they leaned apart not willing to let go they turned and gathered Henry in their arms.

Spencer held them both close grateful for the chance he had been given, his own family.

JJ closed her eyes saying a small prayer of thanks for the man that she loved forgiving her and the little boy giggling in their arms.

Henry bounced happily between them.

Still held tightly in JJ's hand was a tiny, blue heart that said 'Love Me'.


End file.
